When I was in high school, I had a basic idea of what would happen after I went to college. I would go to a university for four years, graduate, and become a writer. Life seemed like a neat little formula.
But by the time college started, that illusion was already fading. My choice of school felt wrong. I knew that from the first week, but spent the next year burying the dissatisfaction I felt.
Along came my sophomore year. I joined Delta Gamma, an organization that introduced me to community–a “family,” if you will–away from home. It was empowering to be surrounded by uplifting women, to be apart of something bigger than myself. I largely attribute to Delta Gamma my happiness sophomore year, as well as the bravery it took for me to stop burying my dissatisfaction and confront it by transferring colleges.
It’s the night before applications for transfer students close. I fill it out in a hurry, submit, then try to forget. I haven’t told anyone I even applied. I had been hiding my desire to transfer for so long. As much as I needed a change, change was paralyzingly scary. My choices were to accept my unhappiness or face my fear of severe change. Until finals week, I couldn’t make the decision. Then finals ended, and just like the school year released me into summer, I released myself from this dilemma that had plagued me. I followed my gut–a decision that seems so obvious now. It was like I got up the guts to get on a roller coaster, thinking it would be terrifying, but finding out the ride is great.
Now I’m attending the University of Georgia. I’ve learned a lot, even before classes began. I am in control of my life. I may be scared, I may believe something is impossible for me, but those aren’t actual obstacles. Fear isn’t real. It’s only a mindset, and I am responsible for overcoming it.
Until recently, I blamed outside forces for circumstances in my life. I thought I was born with an immutable personality and destiny and the proper people and opportunities will fall into my lap. But now I don’t think life is like that. Opportunities will be missed out on and people will pass you by if you live passively. Life demands action. Action brings challenges, but challenges bring growth.
I still rely on that formula sometimes, because it’s comforting to think there’s one path that, if achieved, guarantees success and happiness. But there’s no formula. There’s just figuring out what’s wrong, changing it, and moving on.
There are many new beginnings in my life. A new school, new city, new chapter of my sorority, new people, new experiences, and most obviously, a new blog! Since I’m an English major, I want to practice writing for an audience and I thought this would be a good way to do it. What am I going to write about? Probably the things I am loving and struggling with right now: being a writer and being a college student. If you can relate to one or both of those, stay tuned.
Here’s to new beginnings.